there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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