i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
