My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Did you pee in the oven last night??
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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