I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
