As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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