How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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