Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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