you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
