I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
