So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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