if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
