I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
