i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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