Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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