Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
