It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
