weddingsv make me drug and hornr
wanna go halves on a baby?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
