so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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