wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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