dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
