i need an iv and a liver transplant
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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