So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Hippo gnu deer
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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