Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
