there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
