i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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