You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
