Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
