i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
