So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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