Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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