i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
