You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
