You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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