i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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