he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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