Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
