We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Randomize
