Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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