i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize