...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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