On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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