I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
