ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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