dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
