If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
this beer tastes like vomit already
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
