kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
