Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
