I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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