just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize