dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize