Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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