i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
