i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
