I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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