can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
