she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
