Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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