So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
