Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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