just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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