There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
