I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
