I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
