Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(434): View more from Virginia

why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?

(540): View more from Virginia

you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.

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(253): View more from Washington

i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.

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(970): View more from Colorado

3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.

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(661): View more from California

Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?

(1-661): View more from California

What the hell did you do last night?!

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(225): View more from Louisiana

I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?

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(513): View more from Ohio

We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.

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(519): View more from Ontario

but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it

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