So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
