That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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