what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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